Been having supposedly quite "great " days, thinking about sengleong's wedding & my work stuff getting better. I guess i should be happier. But i'm not and i really can't figure out the reason why. I need to know why, i keep thinking. How do you let go of someone that's been so dear to you, has been there & then but is gone now and try to even hold someone new close to my heart?

SIGH, EMO ALR.

Maybe i shuld really start telling myself to believe in fate. As th phrase goes, " Everything happens for a reason " Did that incident just make me realise what kind of person he really was all along? Was this just planned all along so i'll fall beautifully into life's trap? Thing's have been mad for me these days, and i'm starting to wonder if my life is even taking a turn. It seems like my life is stagnent, while everyone's lives just move forward. Picture a photo, with me in th centre, stagnent and still, while everyone else is going past me. Why?

i don't trust myself, i really don't. Just, not anymore.

But i guess work's been pretty stressful everyday like goodness! I have a stack of stuff not done and everyday these just pile up, way overzxzxzx. But i'm learning to cope with it, handling the responsibilities i hold at work, which i guess shuld be pretty good training for me(: After all, its good i'm no longer doing those normal admin duties, which bore th crap out of me. Soooooooooo, i'm happy!(((:

Ever wondered what it feels like to have someone by your side 24/7? Without ever complaining..just listening to you everytime single time, who'll always be there for you every single time, ever ready to catch you when you fall? Did i lose tht feeling a rly rly long time ago or i just haven't found it at all? I think i really forgot what it feels like actually... Tht warm feeling you get, tht person who will always be there regardless of anything. Maybe i've found th person, but am i right? I'm not questioning th feeling neither the r/s, just not sure of myself. Its some sort of sadness in me, evokes this horrible feeling in me like a black hole totally sucking me up in its darkness. It comes to a point whereby words cannot explain.

Tears are words that cannot be spoken.

Guess this rly is my comfort zone, sigh.

I rest my case.

Guess my life's actually turning for th better.. Wasn't v sure if my choices were right at th start but now i know! Hahahah(:

Anyway, last sunday no church! So sunday morning was spent having breakfast with uncle money & parents @ bedok. Yumzxzxzxzxxx. Hehehehe. Then after tht was gg to marina sands with them as well! (: Left them around 5pm & left t causeway pt t meet tristan. Watched prince of persia. Movie was rly good, & i really likedddd it. Hahahaha.

Work's been getting better, (: More stuff t do at work, not so boring anymoreeee, Hahahah. But sometimes things cock up & its rly annoying t settle everything when they don't cooperate with you. It really sucks):

but you know, absence makes th heart grow fonder

Fresh start again! (:

Anyway, didn't go t work on monday and tuesday cos of some problemsSss, but i'm back t work today. Th never-ending work to do, emails to send..training to attend..things to think about. SighhHHhh~

But anyway, tomorrow's gna be th last work day of this week cos friday's vesak day! Hahahaha!! Means i've only worked two days this week, shiokkkk(((: &&& friday, me&mommy are gg t go do our shoes & shirts  OMGOMG can't waittttttt!! Heehee:D Saturday i have night bowling w daddy's friends & i swear it's been darn long since we had this kinda activities, like ever since we were all little children. Relieve those childhood memories! ^.^

Weather's so freaking hot nowadays, i totally cannot stand it! My ezema's like acting up again as well, itching here..there & everywhere. Suckszxzxzxx                  Might as well start baking us all in a oven! Goodnesss.

i need to numb myself tonight, forget everything bitch.